Archive for Introspective

Something New (for me at least)

Posted in General with tags , , , on December 7, 2009 by Wiredude

As I’m sitting here quite possibly on the eve of a major content patch it’s in many ways a time for reflection. I find myself in a different place than I’ve ever been before with a major patch or expansion being released. I’ve now got 2 characters at the level cap. I’ve effectively (and happily) switched “main” characters, and I’m filling a different role now. I’m in a new guild (been there about 2 months I guess), and my wife is rapidly approaching lvl 80 with her toon as well. Things are just different this time around, that’s the only way I can explain it. Add to that I’m in a different place progression-wise than I’ve ever been before as well.

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I did it again….

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , on October 27, 2009 by Wiredude

No “Oops”, but I did it again, not some goofy pop-song lyric, or anything like that. Last week I made a tough decision. I decided to leave the guild I joined in the spring, I wasn’t one of the founders or a “charter member” but I was there very early, back when we had to have the right 5 members on to be able to run a heroic, because there were only like 6 of us that had 80s, and only 2 that had healers or tanks basically. I watched and came along as we took our first wavering steps into Naxx as a new guild. I was there the night the GM nearly passed out trying to heal Sapp as we got our first guild kill on him because he was focusing that intensely. I was there the night we missed the Patch speed-kill achievement by 1 FREAKIN SECOND. (And I still haven’t gotten it) I was there the first night we went into Ulduar, and dropped 3 bosses, including Flame Leviathon on our very first attempt. I was there for most of our guild firsts, I was there for a whole lot of fun. I really, really enjoyed my time in that guild. Unfortunately, it basically exploded. Why? Well, there are alot of reasons probably, but pointing fingers and playing blame-games won’t solve anything. Let’s just say that in the space of about 4 days, we went from having a very functional 10-man team, to me, the raid-leader-in-training, suddenly being the raid leader, and only having one raider really. Combine that with a GM that’s seriously burnt-out on the game in general, and well, despite me trying, there really just wasn’t anything to hold together. Yeah, the guild still exists, but there were maybe 3 of us on at once at the most. And I’ll admit it, I’m a raider, not a super-hard-core raider, but I like raiding, I like running 5-mans. Unless the rules of math got changed on me again, 3<5. I couldn’t get a 5-man together in-guild again, unless exactly the right people were on. I PuGged some stuff, looked up people off my friends list, etc, and I did some stuff. But the soul of it just wasn’t there. I thought about it quite a while, I really did want to try and save the old guild, but I couldn’t do it alone, and basically everyone else had either left, or burnt out.

So, what to do now? Continue reading

When things go BOOM!!!

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , on October 15, 2009 by Wiredude

BOOM!

That’s kinda how it hit me last Thursday when I logged into the guild message board and saw a post by a long-time friend and mentor, Starman, who writes CasualRaidLeader.com (it’s in the blog-roll on the right). He announced that he was leaving the guild and server on his raiding main, and transferring to another server, and to Hoarde. And not in a month, not in two weeks, like in 2 days… Did I mention that he was also the overall raid coordinator for the guild?

I just kind of sat there looking at the screen for a few minutes. It seemed very unreal to me. Starman was always there, either as the snarly bear-tank, or as the healy-tree (he’s really a sick man, he has 2 druids at lvl 80,. both dual-speced). The thing is Starman was more than just a raid-leader to me. He was the raid leader to me. Not saying I’ve never run with anyone else, or that I don’t like to run with other people, I’m not even saying that Star is somehow a superior RL over anyone else. You need to understand the whole story. I’ve been a member of 2 guilds in my WoW career to date. Starman was the RL in the first guild I was in, back in BC, he was the RL that really taught me how to raid. He watched me go from a starry-eyed noob, who literally said “Just tell me which corner to stand in, and what too shoot at.”, to someone who was a competent member of the team. Then, following the release of Lich King, when I had decided to change guilds, I just wasn’t sure where I was going (there were several factors involved, but it was more a function of the general membership of the old guild than anything else). Then I found out Starman was going to one of the guilds I was considering, well that kinda sealed the deal. There I grew from a ‘competent team member’ to an assistant leader, actually leading runs basically on my own. Along the way we had talked a good bit, run 5-mans together, and just become good friends.

So suddenly I’m staring at a screen saying he’s leaving. Out of the blue basically, no warning, no “I’m thinking about…” just BOOM! So I thought about it for a bit. I knew things wouldn’t be the same without him, but to say that the old guild was damaged when he had left would be like saying the Fel Reavers can kill a fresh lvl 58 in Hellfire Peninsula without much trouble, accurate, but just a bit of an understatement.  While our new guild was 8-9 deep in Ulduar, the old guild was just getting started in it, with the help of an alliance so they had enough people. I didn’t want to see that happen again. I didn’t want to run out on everyone else either.  I was made an officer in the new guild a little while back, and I take that as a serious responsibility.   So right now I’m sitting here, trying to re-evaluate what it is I want in from the game, and where to go from here.

In many ways right now I feel caught.  If I were to have to list the 5 people from WoW who I consider my “best friends” both Starman and the GM of the guild I’m in would be on that list.  Obviously there’s a bit of a rift between those people right now, and I’m trying to do my best to help the guild move forward.  I’ve offered to take up the mantle of being the raid leader for those who remain.  We had a really good thing going for a while, I don’t want to see it end.  I’m also feeling extremely frustrated as I try and start the rebuilding process.  It’s going to require a good bit of work, I know that, but that doesn’t make it feel any easier.  At times it’s very hard to not just throw my hands up, walk away, and go find something new for myself, but I just can’t being myself to do that, it wouldn’t be fair too all the other people left in the guild, many probably feeling similar to the way I do.

I’d love to say that the future is rosy and bright, and filled with the prospect of much fun and many dead raid bosses.  I can’t really say that though.  I’m pretty sure there’s light at the end of the tunnel, but I think there’s a great big pile of rocks up ahead that have to get moved first.

This is kinda one of those weird, almost soul-baring topics.  In many ways I’m still working through things in my mind, trying to sort out exactly what I need and want out of a game that’s become a bigger part of my life than I ever would have expected.  I’ve made some incredibly good friends in the game, but I guess sometimes the price of friendship it having to watch while people move on, or have disagreements.  I really do wish everyone involved the best, I want everyone to enjoy their time playing the game.  Heck, we all pay the same $15/month to log in.  Maybe I’m taking it all a bit too seriously as well, only time will tell…